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dun make me regret my decision…

feeling very restless these few days… i dunoe y… collegues say tat i seem super happy… on a perm ‘high’ mode recently… but… i dunoe… i guess i am not…

1 year ago… something happened… i got super upset… super depressed… but i got over it… on and off… i will get emo.. but i still get over it… this is life… i cant dwell in the past… the past has taught me to be happy wif wat i have… to try things i din dare to try… wat i am now is wat the past made me to be…

- i learnt to finally sing … as in really sing..

- i learnt to drink… as in drink drank drunk… :X

- i learnt to love myself more.. hence.. my endless buying of stuff * this is a no no *

but one thing bad abt my past… i learnt i cant really trust my heart… it has always been a war between the mind and the heart… mind say noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…. heart says yessssssssssssssssss…. and im e kind who listen to my heart… sighz…

am i regretting my decision now… i also not very sure… *prove me wrong… pls*

there are still nites when i NEED to drink before zzz… if not i will juz end up starin at the ceiling or at my soft toys -_-" … my dad was asking me.. have u been drinking alot… *erhmm… i have a mini bar of alcohols in my room* i juz keep quiet… sighzz…

i am trying to find my real MEEEEEEEEE… cos i was tinking… is it i dunoe my goal in life bla bla bla… hence i am feeling this way? hoho… 26 already… i STILL dunoe… i am not a super ambitious gal… i wan to do wat i like… i dun crave to live in big condos… drive flashy cars… *altough i dun mind having branded goods… haha*  or to travel so frequently tat my home bcomes a hotel instead… i guess i am weird this way…

*bang head against the wall* this feeling is so so so so shitty…and it does nt help to hear this *nowadays… MARRIED MEN HAVE GF too…* (GF as in mistress ok…)… sighz… where is the security of a marriage??? who wan to get marry if the world is really like tat??

OK… i am really RAMBLING rubbish now…

=X

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 23rd, 2008 at 6:37 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.